the thief - relient k

"I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back
And I understand why you wouldn't want to
I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you

And I can't see you
Getting used to
Living in the midst of your perfection
And I'm so lost
How can you trust
Somewhere the sun is always shining

And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all this that I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me"

carefree in the care of God

“Don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or if the clothes in your closet are in fashion.

There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body.

Look at the ravens, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, carefree in the care of God. And you count far more.

“Has anyone by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch?

If fussing can’t even do that, why fuss at all?

Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don’t fuss with their appearance—but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?

“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving.

People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works.

Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself. luke 12 msg.

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing things of the right reasons.

I am unsure of this season in my life. I am finding myself going against the grain of who I am countless times. Is this me changing? Being stretched? Growing? Making mistakes? I don't make sense to myself most of the time. I want to live simply, loving God and loving people. My desire is just to serve God with my life. But I complicate that more than necessary. I never feel like I am doing enough. My glass is half empty at the moment. I want God to be enough. I want to believe that He loves me right now, in this state of brokenness. I can't help but believe that God wants nothing to do with me. Are we even friends anymore?

I am sorry I worry about things that don't matter. That I spend more time focusing on things I cannot fix. I know I have built up some walls in my life that I need you tear down, and build over. You really do mean more to me than all these things. How can I show you that? Do you believe me? Sorry I got off path and lost focus. I want to get back to me and You. I miss those days where you made me laugh and covered me in peace. I was carefree in the care of You.

light of the world.

Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness

Opened my eyes, let me see

Beauty that made this heart adore you

Hope of a life spent with you

So here I am to worship

here I am to bow down

here I am to say that

You're my God

And You're altogether lovely

altogether worthy

altogether wonderful to me

King of all days, Oh so highly exalted

Glorious in Heaven above

Humbly You came to the earth You created

All for love's sake became poor

And I'll never know how much it cost

to see my sin upon that cross

And I'll never know how much it cost

to see my sin upon that cross

romans 7:15

15 What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.16 So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.17 But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help!18 I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it.19 I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway.20 My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.21 It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up.22 I truly delight in God’s commands,23 but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.24 I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
The Solution Is Life on God’s Terms

beautiful words

"Slow down. This is such a blur. Tell me what's the hurry now. Have we been running round in circles. Missing all that we could be. You say it's not too late. We are words. On pages that we've left unturned. An ending no one's ever heard. We are a story slowly unfolding. Beautiful words. I could walk across the ocean with you walking next to me. And you could melt away this winter. Now we're starting over. We will see it's not too late. Beautiful words that last when everything else has passed. Even when the stars are gone. I know every single beautiful word that we were will live on."

my adventure bird broke free...

I let to many days go by and sometimes forget who I am. My life is messy, and I have learned to... "do my best and give God the rest" (quote from a 5 year old). I need adventures like this to remind me of ME and the BIG God that I serve. I can't forget those. I go crazy (k not literally) but things stop making sense, and I change my mind, thoughts float in my head, conversations that I wish I would have linger.... and linger.

I think you are lovely..

do you believe you are beautiful? because it's true. you are not only beautiful but have an inestimable amount of worth. you are valued. there is nothing you can do to make God love you less. He created you, adores you and desires you. you are pure in His eyes. you are fragile and to be handled with care. not taken advantage of. you were not made for someone else's pleasure. you were not made to feel alone, unloved, or worthless. those negative thoughts about yourself are false. they should come to a stop. you are better than that. you are gold. a treasure. you cannot be bought at any worldly price. you belong to the highest upmost king. who you are, your identity comes from Jesus. what the world says you are is false. have hope beautiful one. strength will come and you will rise to be all God created you to be. don't give up or give in. give your all to Him. the one who adores you. you are beautiful. do you believe that? because i think you are lovely. know that you are loved.

i wrote this to myself on september 8.

i am reminding myself of this today.