Rescue by Seabird

"somehow the grave has captured me

show me the man I used to be
just when I feel my breath is running out

the earth moves and you find me, alive but unworthy
broken and empty, but you don't care
cuz you are my rapture, you are my savior
when all my hope is gone, I reach for you
you are my rescue
you are my rescue

I'm swimming to safety, but even with my best
if I don't see that rope soon, this might be my last breath

somehow the grave has captured me
show me the man I used to be
just when I feel my breath is running out"

everything will be alright.

After going through all of my relaxation/breathing techniques, the only cure for my overwhelming anxiety was found in 2 Corinthians 4...

"16 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits aret being renewed every day. 17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! 18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."

recently

i have recently allowed the most deepest sacred places in my soul to be stirred.

there has not been a moment since that my soul has been at peace in understanding.

i am lost. more alive than ever before really.

the me that i was getting to know//like so well.... is being stretched.

essentially i am allowing God to shape me.

giving and taking away has become a common theme, among others.

hope. it has shown me both sides. anger:at the way things are & courage: to see that they do not remain as they are.

the thief - relient k

"I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back
And I understand why you wouldn't want to
I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you

And I can't see you
Getting used to
Living in the midst of your perfection
And I'm so lost
How can you trust
Somewhere the sun is always shining

And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all this that I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me"

carefree in the care of God

“Don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or if the clothes in your closet are in fashion.

There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body.

Look at the ravens, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, carefree in the care of God. And you count far more.

“Has anyone by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch?

If fussing can’t even do that, why fuss at all?

Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don’t fuss with their appearance—but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?

“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving.

People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works.

Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself. luke 12 msg.

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing things of the right reasons.

I am unsure of this season in my life. I am finding myself going against the grain of who I am countless times. Is this me changing? Being stretched? Growing? Making mistakes? I don't make sense to myself most of the time. I want to live simply, loving God and loving people. My desire is just to serve God with my life. But I complicate that more than necessary. I never feel like I am doing enough. My glass is half empty at the moment. I want God to be enough. I want to believe that He loves me right now, in this state of brokenness. I can't help but believe that God wants nothing to do with me. Are we even friends anymore?

I am sorry I worry about things that don't matter. That I spend more time focusing on things I cannot fix. I know I have built up some walls in my life that I need you tear down, and build over. You really do mean more to me than all these things. How can I show you that? Do you believe me? Sorry I got off path and lost focus. I want to get back to me and You. I miss those days where you made me laugh and covered me in peace. I was carefree in the care of You.

light of the world.

Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness

Opened my eyes, let me see

Beauty that made this heart adore you

Hope of a life spent with you

So here I am to worship

here I am to bow down

here I am to say that

You're my God

And You're altogether lovely

altogether worthy

altogether wonderful to me

King of all days, Oh so highly exalted

Glorious in Heaven above

Humbly You came to the earth You created

All for love's sake became poor

And I'll never know how much it cost

to see my sin upon that cross

And I'll never know how much it cost

to see my sin upon that cross

romans 7:15

15 What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.16 So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.17 But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help!18 I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it.19 I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway.20 My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.21 It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up.22 I truly delight in God’s commands,23 but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.24 I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
The Solution Is Life on God’s Terms